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Psychologist Robyn Salisbury helps a reader with a relationship dilemma. My partner and I are in our mid-twenties and we've been together for a year now. All is great, really, I just have a delicate question that I've been wondering about and I don't like to ask my friends.

For longer than I can remember I Looking to share my fantasy had a sexual fantasy that really turns me on. I don't even want to tell you exactly what it's about because Anr Dallas relationship desired feel too embarrassed. I've tried not to but sometimes Looking to share my fantasy we're making love it creeps in and makes me so horny I come very powerfully.

I also find that if my partner initiates sex and I'm not in the mood that fantasy running through my head can get me into it really fast. What I want to know is do I tell my partner about this fantasy in the hope that he will act it out with me and in the interests of not having secrets or should I keep it to myself?

I think he will be open about it as he's more broadminded than I am but I couldn't bear if he tore strips off me for thinking about something else while making love with him. What do people mean by 'good sex'?

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Why is sex so painful for me? Well you certainly carry a powerful fear of being shamed. First, have a think about where messages have come from that taught you that being a wonderfully erotic woman is something to be embarrassed about.

Once you've identified the source Looking to share my fantasy are aware of when they sit on your shoulder whispering destructively into your ear, it becomes possible to challenge old beliefs and give them the flick. Fantasy can be a mmy good way to get yourself into the mood for sex, as you've found.

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Whether it's a sensory fantasy with a focus on sensations, smells, tastes or images or it's a scripted scenario like a plot in a movie, it gets you into the swing of arousal, warming you up. Most powerful fantasies have a core erotic theme CET Butch seeking Toluca women generally comes from a place of pleasure or trauma in the individual's history.

If Looking to share my fantasy origins are pleasurable, maybe sensory experiences you had as a child or adolescent, then you're simply replaying the pleasure.

Hidden within the CET's that arise from past traumatic experiences is a formula for transforming unfinished business into pleasure and excitement, to move from anxiety to excitement, weakness to strength, guilt Looking to share my fantasy freedom or anger to appreciation.

You may or may not find it of any benefit to understand what drives this CET for you. Do be sure, though, that you are not shaming yourself by using your fantasy.

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You're Looking to share my fantasy anticipating the possibility that running your fantasy during lovemaking could feel offensive for your partner and you're right.

For some, perhaps many people, the close connection sharr comes from focusing your mind and your body on your lover and his on you, is the most valued part of sex.

For others, getting highly turned on and enjoying a strong orgasm is what matters most. There's no reason why you can't have both and fantasy may be a part of that, sometimes or every time, if both of you Looking to share my fantasy. Have a general discussion with your man about dhare fantasy into your lovemaking.

This will at least give you an initial indication of his openness. Then you can decide if you trust him enough to share your fantasy Lookinf him. Some couples share fantasies with each other during sex, some choose to act them out with each other.

Be aware that there can be a huge difference between imagining, talking about and acting on a fantasy. Some fantasies are not meant to be acted out.

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Couples who enjoy using fantasy find that it can bring in novelty and mystery, enhance excitement, stop getting your mind distracted onto non-sexual thoughts and even help you both to figure out what may be missing from your sex life.

An American colleague of Looking to share my fantasy suggested it can be used to "airbrush a partner's imperfections". That sounds to me like a fantasy you'd keep to yourself!

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I think you are aiming to own your own sexual pleasure, which I celebrate. Robyn Salisbury is a clinical psychologist. Email questions to MrsSalisbury sextherapy.

I am afraid to share my sexual fantasy with my partner. Do Looking to share my fantasy share my sexual fantasy with my partner, or will he judge me?